The Toe Jam
During my tenure at Home
Depot in Coral Springs, FL I spent some time working in the
lumber and building materials department. I didn't know then and I still have
no clue about anything related to concrete or spackling and what not--but I loved
to spend 8 hours standing behind a panel saw taking orders and throwing lumber
around. :-\ Driving the forklift was pretty fun too, but unfortunately I didn't
have any accidents with any of the machinery there.
It was a day like any other...I was stuck in front of the panel saw, all bundled up in my goggles,
respirator and ear muffs, ripping away at sheet after sheet of plywood and particle board.
Some guy approached me to cut his 3/8" plywood
and handed me a paper with dimensions on it. I grabbed his 4' x 8' sheet like I had done so many
times before, but that day just wasn't "mine". The wood slipped out of my hands and directly
onto my left big toenail (see picture) from a height no less than two feet. It hurt more than words can
describe. I had to stagger off into the lounge and prop my foot up.
That night a big ol' blood blister formed under the nail, creating all sorts of
really obnoxious pressure that only made it hurt worse. I wound up going to the
hospital the next day after work. The doctor there took what was basically a
soldering iron and melted a hole in the nail so it could drain....instant toe
keg. Weeks later, the entire nail fell off (well, I kinda helped
it along 'cause it was just kinda dangling there for a while). It took about 13 months for it
to grow back and my toenail is *still* funky looking. I'll spare you the picture.
Back to the halftime show